Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Today

Today I didn't do my customary morning things. I typically get up, get Phil's clothes together, iron them, make his lunch, and feed Mariana a jar of baby food. Today, I told Phil what he was wearing from the bed, let him take care of his clothes, made sure he had cash for lunch, and made Mariana a bottle. I'm just so tired. I did a lot of work in our room yesterday, even down to rearranging furniture. I started at 8-9 in the morning and finished at around 4 in the afternoon. I know that doesn't sound like much, just a typical 9 to 5 type job, but we're talking moving, cleaning, organizing, and taking care of Mariana... I was tired when I got done. But today, today I'm exhausted. I feel like my body is punishing me. I'm supposed to be taking it kind of easy anyway until my cardiologist figures out how to make my symptoms less problematic. High levels of activity just throw my body off completely.

I started my second medication today... We'll see how that goes. I'm actually getting a little angry I think. But, I'm probably only angry because I'm too tired to remember how I shouldn't be angry. It's just that it occurred to me that I'm taking 9 pills a day now. The doctor has me swallowing 9 pills just to see if it makes a difference. Then if it doesn't and the second meds side effects don't bother me too much, I'm supposed to start taking that twice a day in a week from now. That'll be 10 pills. Who the hell wants to take 10 pills a day. Who the hell can remember to take 10 pills a day. I'm going to need some kind of reminder that'll go off every 4 hours, "Cass, it's time to take your medicine." I guess it is helping... It's hard to tell. So anyway, today is my bitch about how tired I am and how I feel like crap. Hopefully, by the end of the day, or even by noon, I'll feel better, the medicine will have kicked in and take some of this overwhelming tiredness away.

No comments: